This will be the best New Year’s greetings EVER:
May the fleas of a thousand camels
infest the ass of the person who fucks up your year
and may his arms grow too short
to scratch his ass!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
-154 characters… just nice for SMSes
anyone has a better one than this? heh… I doubt so….
let me think of another one for next year now…
Happy New Year everyone…
Ladies and gentlemen,
HAPPY NEW YEAR and have many great years ahead!!!
its NYE and my CEO just announced 2 mins ago that our official office hours will close in 30mins.
that means.. 5:15pm!
wow… we get 15mins off!!! wat a deal! Hey, better than nothing lah.
so the whole day, we are packing the office, to prepare for a shift to our new premesis, while other companies have their 1/2day off… and people enjoying yourself.
At least I am paid well… compared to those without a job… heh
so, what are you guys doing tonight? Many of you will be partying I guess, I will be home, be with my sweet wife, and spend the night taking care of her and talking to her and baby in her tummy… I suddenly feel that I am such a good husband…. *hao lian* mood…
This is the kind of German mama I am talking about, just that the one waiting on us was MUCH bigger…
those Pork nuckles looks succulent…
after about 5L of beer each…
our German mama became….
pictures courtesy of Oktoberfest.de
Suddenly remembered this scene back in 1996, with my Uni friends from ESIEE, Paris.
venue: Munich
occasion: Oktoberfest
notes: Pretzels, a kind of bread. Martin H: German friend. Martin S, Henrik: Danish friends.
The whole place is filled with millions of people, all here to indulge in the fine brews of beers from monasteries to pubs. The whole place was in a mess, but in a sort of a orderly manner. We found our seats at one of the pubs.
Martin H: Velcome to Meun-chen my friends, lets have beer.
calls for the waitress, who is a HUGE German mama… with the BIGGEST and FULLEST boobs I have ever seen.
Martin S: ok, we’ll have a beer each.
mama: 1L?
Martin S: er… anything smaller?
mama: ya, 2L.
Martin S: ok, 1L for each one of us.
mama: pretzels?
Me: huh?
mama: PRET-ZELS! Sie wissen nicht? nett!
Martin H: ya, eins gefallen je.
mama: ok
Next thing I know, the German mama came back with 10 glasses of beer, 1L each, with her bare hands.. no trays. That must have been at least 15kg!
Me: Pretzels?
mama: vait.
And the German mama set down the beers, and starts to dig into the deep deep cleavage, popping out pretzels one after another.
Henrik: hmmm… better than Carlsberg… hey, these pretzels are good… I wan more… but how come they are salty?
Martin H: vell, its still Autumn, and there are many people wisiting Meun-chen at this time of the year, and she is serving many people. She is bound to sweat, no?
oh boy… so thats why pretzels are salty?
Dunno if you guys have experienced this, but whenever movers are moving things from the office upstairs (and I mean heavy stuff on pallets), the tables in my office starts to vibrate. This is because the flooring upstairs is ceramic tiles and when the jack (with pallets) are moved, it goes pass the grooves on the ceramic and our tables starts to vibrate.
First, you hear the sounds of wheels over grooves,
Next, you feel the vibration on the desk,
Then, you hear the hard banging of the pallets (or the jack) on the walls
nah beh…. the small vibration goes on for like hours and it makes me feel unrest and nauseas!
The toilet is now filled with puke from my colleagues! CB….
oh… and that reminds me of breakfast
Exhibitionist movie! You’d get off on letting
ANYONE and EVERYONE watch you have sex…even
small children, you sick sonofabitch! Kinky is
your middle name.
What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla
now… wouldn’t that be fun?
just received a call from wife: baby din move the whole morning, when he was moving even actively last night. how how how??? its even scaring me now…
update at 2:21pm: baby moving liao…. phew….
anyone remember the advertisement where PCK stick this white piece of “koh yoh” (Chinese Handyplast) on his feet and only to have it turn black the next morning? something called Komihibitsu or something…
its made of some extract from trees and Chinese herbs, stick it under your feet before you sleep and it will turn black the next morning if you have toxins in your body.
saw that at Watson’s yesterday, got curious, and wife decided to buy it for me. 20pcs for $49.90! freaking expensive experiment.
got home, read everything on the package and started to play with it.
it was a packet of white powderish thing. stuck it up my foot, whole night my heart beat was fast. Dunno is it the effects of the medication or is it my wife sleeping beside me excitng me…
This morning, first thing in the morning, peeled it off, and the whole damn thing turned black! and with a layer of slimy sticky thing on top. wow… it works! Visited the dunny and craped the biggest and smelliest load I have ever had. Satisfied tummy.
Told my dad, and he said it may just be some chemical reaction more than any detoxification process. Anyway, will keep on trying and see…
wow… I am full of crap in my body…
was thinking of giving my baby boy a circumcision when he is born in late Jan 2004. Talked to wife and discussed the good and bad of circumcision.
Good:
Clean, more sensitive, looks cute
Bad:
baby will cry day and night for weeks to come due to pain and hungry and wet and all
well, we decided that maybe we should go ahead with it since the good is like more than bad… just checked out the Ministry of Health webpage, and saw the price of such a procedure:
it cost a friggin’ $636 or less (for 50% of the patients), and a fuckin’ $805 or less (for 90% of the patients)
I decide to forgo the procedure… I can cut for him myself…. nah beh…
Saw this scene while coming to work this morning.
A car, a red Honda, parked right behind an ambulance, with the driver inside, waiting for his wife to come back from the market. And in a NO PARKING/WAITING area, marked in bright red on the tar.
Ambulance driver rushed up the vehicle with another nurse, becan lights on and shifted into reverse gear. Apparently in an emergency. Horned the red Honda. No response. Horned again. Still no response. Another nurse ran out from the clinic. Asked the driver to move, and just then, the wife appeared, with all the plastic bags in hand. Honda driver signalled to Ambulance to wait with his arm out of the window!
She slowly walked towards the car, opened the door, put the bags into the car’s back seat, with some other bags left, went to the boot, and shouted at the husband to open the boot, boot opened, put the rest of the things in, close the boot, walked to front seat, opened door, went inside, put on seat belt, closed door, and only then the car moved off. the whole thing took a good 3 minutes. All along, with the Ambulance waiting.
Everyone walking pass was looking at the incident, but no one made any noise. I went up to the driver when he was exiting the car park, pointed my middle finger at him and left.
Dang, I wonder if they would have done so if the one the Ambulance is picking up is someone close to them.
FUCK…
